


A Little Reassurance

by tabbytabbytabby



Series: Whumptober 2019 [2]
Category: 9-1-1 (TV)
Genre: Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, First Kiss, Fluff, Light Angst, M/M, Nightmares, Season/Series 03
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-02
Updated: 2019-10-02
Packaged: 2020-11-22 06:15:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,527
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20869538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tabbytabbytabby/pseuds/tabbytabbytabby
Summary: In the aftermath of the tsunami, Buck has nightmares.





	A Little Reassurance

**Author's Note:**

> For Day 2 of Whumptober: Nightmare

It's a fear like Buck hasn't felt before, tight and white hot against his ribcage. As the water starts rushing back in towards them he's hit with the overwhelming fear that he's going to die. That Christopher is going to die. That once again he's failed not only himself but that special little boy. Eddie would never forgive him. Hell, Buck doesn't think he'd ever forgive himself. 

The water hits them and he holds his breath as it takes him under. He hopes Christopher remembered to do the same like he'd hurriedly taught him. 

He comes to the surface and goes to pull Christopher with him. Nothing's there. He looks around wildly for the familiar mop of hair, but can't see him anywhere. He was just here. Just in Buck's arms. How could he have lost him?

"Christopher!" Buck calls, spinning around in the water. "Christopher!"

He curses himself when his damn leg starts to cramp, but he pushes through it. He has to find Christopher. He has to. His eyes land on a body floating face down in the water nearby and he sucks in a breath, tears stinging at his eyes. 

No. No no no. This isn't happening. If it is then the water can just fucking take him. It's what he deserves. 

"Christopher!"

His hands reach out, but the water pushes the body back just out of his reach. Every time he reaches out he's met with nothing but water. 

"Christopher!"

Buck's failed. He's failed them both. He's failed Eddie. The water pushes him under and Buck doesn't fight it. 

* * *

Buck gasps and opens his eyes. There’s a weight surrounding him. It takes him a moment to realize it’s Eddie. He’s there, his arms wrapped around Buck as he holds him to his chest. 

"I've got you," Eddie murmurs. "I've got you. Just breathe for me."

Buck doesn't want to. Not after what happened. Not after he let them both down. 

"Christopher," Buck whispers. 

"Is sleeping in his bed," Eddie assures him. "He's alright, Buck. A little shaken, sure. But he's alive. You saved him."

Buck wants to believe him, but everything had felt so real. "I need to see him."

"Okay," Eddie stands and offers a hand to Buck. "We can go peak in. But keep quiet."

Buck nods and lets Eddie pull him down the hallway. He can feel his panic building as they go. Afraid he's going to look in there and find Christopher's bed empty. That he's going to wake up and still be in the water. 

Eddie opens the door further and steps aside, letting Buck move up beside him. Buck looks in the room and lets out a relieved breath. Christopher is there, in his bed, sound asleep. 

He closes his eyes as tears start spilling down his cheeks. Eddie wraps an arm around his shoulders and pulls him close. "Come on. Let's go back to bed."

He leads Buck back down the hall to his room and nudges him gently back onto the bed. Buck's still crying softly as Eddie wraps him up in his arms. 

"Do you want to talk about it?" Eddie asks him. 

Buck takes a shuddering breath. "I dreamed I'd lost him. That as much as I tried I couldn't save him."

"I can't imagine what that must have been like," Eddie says, running a hand down his back. "How scared you both must have been out there."

"I've never been that afraid, Eddie. When I was out there I didn't care about myself. I just knew I had to keep him safe."

"And you did."

"But I didn't!" Buck says. He tries to pull back but Eddie holds strong. He glares down at him. "I didn't. I lost him. And those few moments where I couldn't see him _terrified _me. I let him down." Buck is crying again, but makes no move to wipe away the tears. "I let you down. You trusted me with him and I couldn't even keep him safe. I'm so sorry."

Buck's surprised to see Eddie is crying now too. He rests his head against Buck's as he moves a hand up to grip his neck. 

"He is alive because of you, Evan," Eddie says. "You saved him. I would not have my son back if it wasn't for you. That boy is my heart. I trusted you with them both, and I still do. Don't you ever doubt that."

Buck's head is swimming as he tries to process the words. He knew Eddie trusted him before, but this feels different. "Your heart?"

"Yeah, '" Eddie says, meeting his eyes. "My heart. I didn't just have one person I love trapped out there. You were there too."

"Am I still dreaming?" Buck mutters. He wants it to be real, but it seems too good to be true. 

He yelps when fingers pinch his side. Eddie grins. "Does that feel real to you?"

Buck nods. A warm hand rubs at his side, soothing the sting, and he sighs. "Yeah I'm pretty sure I'm awake."

"Pretty sure?"

"The past 24 hours have been a lot," Buck says. "Give me a break."

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" Eddie asks him. 

Buck's body is begging him to, but he can't. Not yet. 

"I do, but there's something I need to do first."

Eddie raises an eyebrow, "What is it?"

Buck doesn't answer right away. He leans in and kisses Eddie, his lips brushing softly against his. "I love you."

"I love you," Eddie smiles. "But I would really like it if you never almost died again."

"Never?"

Eddie rolls his eyes. "Okay, fine. Not for a _long_ time. Not until we're old and grey."

Buck laughs, "Only if you make me that same promise."

"I do," Eddie tells him. "You're going to have me around so long you'll get sick of me."

"Not possible," Buck says. He kisses him again, just because he can. "But I appreciate the sentiment."

"Good," Eddie says. "Now let's get some sleep."

Buck wants to. He's exhausted. But even laying here in the comfort of Eddie's arms he's still afraid to close his eyes. Afraid of what horrors await him when he does. He lays there, tense and staring out the window, afraid to move and disturb Eddie.

Eddie shifts under him suddenly, half lifting Buck off of him as he stands. Buck watches in confusion as he starts gathering the blankets and pillows off the bed.

"Eddie?"

"Help me," Eddie tells him. "Grab some of the extra blankets out of the closet."

Buck is confused but he listens. He grabs the blankets from the top of the closet and then follows Eddie out of the room. He leads him down the hall to Christopher's room. Buck is still confused as Eddie takes the blankets from him and starts putting them on the floor. 

"What are you doing?" Buck whispers.

Eddie holds a hand up to his lips and continues what he was doing. When he's done, he sits down and holds his hand out to Buck. Buck takes it and lets Eddie pull him down next to him. He lays them down, with their back to Christopher's closet, facing his bed. From this view they can see him sleeping soundly. 

Buck relaxes. He turns to Eddie with a tearful smile. "Thank you."

Eddie shrugs, "I think we both needed the reassurance."

Buck will never be able to say how much he appreciates that. How much it means that Eddie just knows without Buck having to tell him. 

"I was so worried," Buck admits. "I've never been afraid for someone else like that."

"That's what it's like being a parent," Eddie says. "You have this life that you're responsible for. It can be terrifying. But then you see him smiling and it's an amazing feeling. You always want him to be that happy."

"Yeah," Buck mumbles quietly. He might not be a father, but he remembers how he felt with Christopher before the tsunami hit. And even after when he was still smiling and giving Buck hope he might have otherwise lost. "He's an amazing kid, Eddie. You should be proud."

"I am," Eddie says. He kisses the side of Buck's face, his lips lingering there. "I'm proud of both of you."

"Can you be proud in the morning?"

Buck's eyes widen and he looks to the bed, where Christopher is peering down at them. "Hey buddy."

"Hi," Christopher says. "Why are you on my floor?"

"I had a nightmare," Buck admits. "It made me feel better being here with you. Is it alright if we stay?"

"Only if you go to sleep," Christopher mumbles. 

Eddie laughs, "Sure, bud. We're going to sleep."

"Okay," Christopher yawns. "Goodnight."

"Goodnight." "Night bud."

"You heard the boss," Eddie says. "We have to sleep."

He smiles when Eddie places a soft kiss to his lips before settling back against the pillows. Buck doesn't think it's going to be too hard to fall asleep anymore. Not with Eddie here and knowing that Christopher is safe in his bed. He sleeps easier that night than he has in a while.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Kudos/Comments make my day ♥  
[My tumblr](http://tabbytabbytabby.tumblr.com/)


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